Friend-less?

Open up my blogspot and I see no one is updating their blogs.


Is it that Facebook already replace all of these stuffs or people will really update their blogs when there are things/issues/words that can not be expose to the public? Since Blogspot is our own personal spaces, that is why we only tell the story to the blogs rather than telling people.


Well, count down for my big day. Its June and its my month.


Three more days to be celebrating I am a legalized adult, which the happiest thing is that I can walk in to the casino already. * giggles


Am I look happy? well, wording is just something that be played by Public Relations. Will anyone really laugh out when they are typing "haha"? Me? i just Giggles., hehe..~and i am now giggling~


There are a lots of incidents happened recently (I guess I am going to start complaining again~)


RM800 = a phone case = friendship


As above, i accidentally fell his phone, which is a new Galaxy S2 that is newly used within two weeks, dropped! and Scratched!


I was so panic, and i felt guilty for this. What happen is out of my thinking, I am blamed and scolded by people surrounding. I am the one who Spoiled his phone and I shall be the one who compensate the whole payment for the repair, which cost me RM750 with a very unique and high quality screen protector which cost RM48. Well, I think I am no longer a friends since I am Blocked. I Unfriended him. (Hey, so what! Don't you ever judge me, Its my facebook but not yours, I can do whatever I want to!)


I am ignored in the same time I ignore him. (sounds stupid. = =)
I had collected RM800 and I am well prepared to pay him. 
I am blamed as a Killer of his phone. 
Rumors are spread around.
I THREW his phone? I am not RESPONSIBLE? I don't sounds GUILTY? and so on.
Well, I do care about what people say to me.
but what can I do? I can't call back to home, I just don't want to let my family know I got problem, 
Hey people, Independence.
We ain't children anymore especially for a GUY which almost step in to 21st years old. 


Teenager these day are like so WEAK. Small stuffs and they are crying and like to spread out to the whole world and keep on EMO. Well, no one owes you anything and please don't show me your crying baby face and black face. I don't really care much. Cry baby... (Awwww, I am bad Guy again.well, when I really cried, who the fuck care? People can even Laugh out loud and joking and fooling around. I am not mentioning anyone, just don't put yourself in the seat while no one mention you.)


Gossip is kind of like human nature. People likes to know more and say more about certain issue which i call it GOSSIP. (well, the nice word is like Discussing certain issue? Meeting? whatever)


Rumor and gossip spread around us. People are so face that they act like so nice to certain people and turn their face off after they turn back. I am not a good guy, i admit it. But at the same time I hate Fake people with Fake personalities. 


When you Criticize on someone, do you think before you say so? Do we really have the qualifications to criticize people while we are doing the same thing? or we can not do certain thing?  (A stupid laugh at a fool..sounds funny huh?)


I don't like people which likes to flirt around like a slut, but I Hate dishonest people with their mask which can not even cover their big face. Try to hide all your Original personalities if you decided to wear a mask to face other people.




I am a person that hates to be alone? I am afraid of being just one person.
In the same time, I am one who can still survive without so call Friends? 
Yes of course I felt lonely and boring. But taking meal alone and stay in a room alone is not a bad thing also isn't it?


Recently I don't really mix with people. I rather stay alone in room for anime. 
and planning the day for my birthday, I had decided not to stay in hostel.
I want to Movie,Karaokae,secret recipe,Ice cream alone! ^w^
Trying to act tough and I don't want to meet with anyone.
I was just wondering can I even LOCK out my facebook post that no one can post anything for me huh? 


Want to know my true feeling? 
I wish to celebrate it with all my friends(which I think they are my friends)?
I wish to make it a memorable birthday since its 21st?
I wish to get some surprises from people?
I wish to receive present?
Well, just stop dreaming. Not all people even Care about it, 
who the fuck are you? You are just nothing but Arrogant, childish,like to show off, blasting and craps a lot, emo, greedy, annoying.........................................
People are just fake that they pretend to be tough to be independence just to defend themselves.
As me, all the times I am so stubborn that I knew what will happen if i did something but I just keep going with my stubbornish. Well, I just can not change my stupid attitude, and that is why I am friendless.


I think its time to stop typing already, I am complaining to much. ^ ^
Cheers people. have a great day~

I am Just Nothing

I think this holiday is the most Busiest Holiday ever for me.*chuckles


I went to Kuala Lumpur twice and I met a lots of new friends. 

The second time I went to the Hot Air Balloon Fiesta in Putrajaya.

The First time I went to Maison the Club and have fun with a lots of friends.

This was the greatest time ever in a Club for me. haha..


Honestly, I got thousand words to blast out now but I don't know which one comes first.


I am not really happy with the KL trip, this is the first one. 


I can only use a word to describe the moment. Insidious? or Shallow?


What ever. Just something bad about people.


Since I don't really share my Happiness here, so what I shared here probably is bad news and bad things. (which I think It is .)


Actually, Life can not be Easy. In my life, it is full of disputes, rumors, gossip, quarrel and so on so fort. 


I admit that, I do care what people looks on me. I knew that I am not good enough (maybe I am not even GOOD? who Knows..* sigh)


Sometimes...*sigh.... Its okay, I don't want to explain again, for my last explanation, people thought it was just I am defending myself and I can not accept comment. So, no more explanation.


Hey people, I am not who ever. Even I am, I am not going to be just perfect. I am not mentioning someone or something. But after the KL trip, I just found out that, I always give bad Impression to people, no matter who no matter when and no matter what.


Well, I am just bad guy. I am not good looking, I am so conceited that I think I am so cool, bad temper, i am emotional, I am so stupid that I make my friends hates me... bla bla bla* (and hundreds more, i mean , my bad~)


I am not angry and I am not blaming anyone.(because if i want to do so, almost everyone is blamed by me XD)


So, do I need to act? Act like someone perfect so that people likes me? 


I just don't get it. People LOVES those who acts a lots. Again, I am not mentioning anyone but if u think that I am talking about you, that is your problem, Mr/Ms Actor/Actress. 


(Am I over again? OMG, not again, I am talking about someone BAD again, I just can not stop myself, that is why people hates me)


I do agree that, try to change my bad things into good one and make people accept you. In fact, I am doing my best to do so. (Stop thinking i am defending, I am not~XD)


I just remember that one of the friends say this


"Psycho people they wont express their feeling and their next move easily."


So, when I am angry I need to pretend like OMG I am so Happy that you scolded me with no reason at all?


or I need to pretend like I am just Kind and Nice that I wont angry about you even you are talking my bad just right behind me or just right in front of me?

I do believes that people have their limit that cause Eruption~ For me, I had changed a lot.


I am no longer the Fierce stupid Cat that throw bad temper to the surrounding person.


In fact, I am a person who scares of bad comment on me. It is like I study well and prepare well and I still Fail in my examinations.


That kind of feeling, can you feel the same thing I felt?


I pretend like I am nothing after i receive bad comments but in fact, I will think again and again what had i done wrongly that I will receive bad comments. In the next time, I will not do the same thing again.

Sounds pretty good huh? But in reality, normally there are NO second chance if you had did something wrong. People will just think that, this guy is Acting a lot, since last time he did so many bad things. Is that right? 


People think I talk too much, I shall just be quiet and lessen my talk
then people think I am so cool and so arrogant that I don't even talk or smile


Don' you think it is so damn weird that I am smiling but nothing?
Psycho~


Then people will say I am not friendly, I am so arrogant that I think they are cheap...and a bunch of weird comment and weird personality is added to me.


When I talk, people comment again, I am too noisy, I am so playful, I am not doing the right thing, I am not serious, I am childish, I am keep showing off my stuffs, I am acting that I am clever......................


Look, there are 7 billion Human beings in the world, I can not make everyone likes me. 


I know that I am bad temper in sometimes,
I know that I am too serious in sometimes,
I know that I am too noisy sometimes,
I know that I Hate to be a loser that I will defend myself until the end and two people relationship broke up,
I know that I Like to act that I know a lot of things,
I know that I am not clever enough,
I know that I am so childish that I am writing all this in my blogger,
I know that I am so useless in sometimes,

I know that I am not a good friend,

I know that I am big liar,

I know that I like to act a lot,

I know that I am girlish,

I know that I am a troublemaker rather than a solver,

I know that I am a negative thinker,

I know that I am irresponsible enough,

I know that I got a lots of bad habits more......

But, 

Am I really treat you guys that bad? 

Am I really childish that I doesn't work hard sometimes?

Am I really just look conceited and so call arrogant?

Am I really throwing bad temper to anyone without any proper reason?

Am I really that noisy?

Am I really that Cool?

Am I really emotional?

Am I really irresponsible when i really did something wrong?

Am I really that bad? 

People, until you read this paragraph 

in your mind there are only few thoughts.

"Sorry, I don't really know you much..we just know each other online and bla bla bla bla bla"

"Since you know that you are so BAD, why don't you change yourselves?"

"Are you trying to defend yourselves again?"

"Stop acting...you are not good enough for this"

"I'm sorry that my comment on you makes you felt so unhappy..I will not give u any bad comments anymore"

"I wish you are okie now"

"Don't think too much, everything will be just fine"

I am not trying to get anyone to come and console or comfort me. I don't need so. 

Just that, I am tired of being like this. I don't dare to show out what I'm really thinking.

I can't really tell out that I am NOT happy, I am Angry, I am Sad, I am happy...

What is the purpose of telling people your feeling that NO ONE is like going to care about you?

I am not talking in rage but this is so true. 

I know what kind of person I am. 

I am trying my best to make things happen right.

I am trying my best to change my bad attitudes.

I am trying my best to make myself polite and nice.

BUT,

Do I ever say that, I am not satisfy with your bad habits?

Any of the friends, did I really blame you if you guys had did something wrong?

Which of the times, I am not there to help you guys when you met problems?

But in other side, who helps me when I face problem? 

Do any of my friends think about this?

I am wondering, Do I really have FRIENDS? 

In the end, I am just a bad guy. 

I am just NOTHING for you....