准备搬家了～～

今天的部落格，想写华语

来个华语版本的好了

三年，就这样转眼过去了

这个三年

小猫成长啦～

这个三年

认识很多人，明白很多道理，了解很多人情世故，学会待人处事，改了一部分的坏习惯？

等等等等～

初期的时候，一个人大老远来到槟城

没朋友（其实有的，知道故事的人都知道～懒得解释）

一个人要自己支撑自己～

也不太希望一直靠家人

所以创业？（网店罢了，没什么了不起）

然后赚一些钱养自己

很快的，三年

过去了

三年前的我，三年后今天的我，还有再三年后的我，会是怎样的不一样呢？

我不知道，应该都一样喜欢胡闹？

如果不是因为毕业了 我根本就不打算离开宿舍

以前没想过这个问题

只想过 搬出宿舍了 我会很舍不得朋友 室友

但是万万没想到会是如此难受

之前姐姐搬出宿舍的时候，我哭了

因为不舍得她们

宿舍只有他们对我最好

之后是MLVK德豪那个batch搬走

过后是衡和Ken他们搬走

一个一个离开了

没想到 现在论到我了

其实 我觉得这些都是命运？

我注定要fail PR科 然后遇到你们？

我不懂 但是 我只想说 认识你们 我没有后悔

跟室友们打打闹闹的日子

就快结束了啦

晚上睡觉前的笑话时间 没啦～

虽然有时候会有争执 但是 没有很大影响你们和我的关系

其实宿舍真的是很好

设备齐全，便宜，方便，安全，朋友多

只是一定需要一些规则来维持它

或许以前常去夜店的我 会抱怨（甚至中了两张红色炸弹）

我跟学长的关系其实都不错

跟学弟妹的关系更好

老实说 我都很疼他们咯

你们说 你们哪里一个assignment我没有帮忙？

我会的我都尽量帮忙

你们的考试啊，我都特地帮你们做多余的补习

（这个时候我在电脑面前哭了....）

我们要搬出去了啊～

以后的日子 应该真的很少见面了

我们做工的做工

读书的读书

training的training

大家都有自己的东西做

应该不会多见面了

像GG说的，当我们想到要搬出宿舍的时候

我们更想用更多的时间陪你们

只是 你们都不知道

或许吧

我们也只是路客一名

你们也有你们自己的天地

自己的朋友

甚至更新的朋友

不再需要我们了吧？

其实最近在烦

搬家了

新的家具什么都要买

不知道钱哪里来的说

还有车要出来啦

新的紫色myvi

车的大镜要粘黑玻璃

然后车的cushion等等的

然后水电费

还要担心搬出去会不会有争执

新的学院 新的人事物

不知道可以exempt掉多少个科目

我会适应过来吗？我的水准，会不会很差？

会不会人家会的我不会？

都很担心 

希望我的决定不会后悔吧

有好多话想对好多人说

但是，话一定是说不完的了

还是留在心里好了

我不是一个很好的朋友，诉苦着，聆听着，学长，室友....

我偶尔的任性，好玩，胡闹

但是我每一分每一秒都希望可以给你们带来开心，欢笑

很多时候 很多东西我都忍了下来

就只是为了你们

我朋友不多

所以我都很珍惜

我不说出来 因为没意思

放在心里 比较实际

不是吗？

我的生日，我真的很开心

有那么多人那么在乎我

我死爱脸 没有说 

但是我真的很感动

谢谢你们

每天开眼睛就看到大大的 满满的生日卡

巧克力～

白葡萄酒

巴黎铁塔

吊饰

就会很开心 一整天

我们的回忆好多好多

KL的ipad2

马六甲之旅

一堆人一起唱K

一起看电影

一起吃宵夜

一起去海边呐喊

拍照

去走街

买新年衣服

去夜店浦

等等等等～

我也不知道要说什么

想跟很多人说对不起

但是这里说就好了

我死爱面子

死嘴硬 

我说不出口

最后只想说

我真的真的真的

很不舍得你们

Friend-less?

Open up my blogspot and I see no one is updating their blogs.


Is it that Facebook already replace all of these stuffs or people will really update their blogs when there are things/issues/words that can not be expose to the public? Since Blogspot is our own personal spaces, that is why we only tell the story to the blogs rather than telling people.


Well, count down for my big day. Its June and its my month.


Three more days to be celebrating I am a legalized adult, which the happiest thing is that I can walk in to the casino already. * giggles


Am I look happy? well, wording is just something that be played by Public Relations. Will anyone really laugh out when they are typing "haha"? Me? i just Giggles., hehe..~and i am now giggling~


There are a lots of incidents happened recently (I guess I am going to start complaining again~)


RM800 = a phone case = friendship


As above, i accidentally fell his phone, which is a new Galaxy S2 that is newly used within two weeks, dropped! and Scratched!


I was so panic, and i felt guilty for this. What happen is out of my thinking, I am blamed and scolded by people surrounding. I am the one who Spoiled his phone and I shall be the one who compensate the whole payment for the repair, which cost me RM750 with a very unique and high quality screen protector which cost RM48. Well, I think I am no longer a friends since I am Blocked. I Unfriended him. (Hey, so what! Don't you ever judge me, Its my facebook but not yours, I can do whatever I want to!)


I am ignored in the same time I ignore him. (sounds stupid. = =)
I had collected RM800 and I am well prepared to pay him. 
I am blamed as a Killer of his phone. 
Rumors are spread around.
I THREW his phone? I am not RESPONSIBLE? I don't sounds GUILTY? and so on.
Well, I do care about what people say to me.
but what can I do? I can't call back to home, I just don't want to let my family know I got problem, 
Hey people, Independence.
We ain't children anymore especially for a GUY which almost step in to 21st years old. 


Teenager these day are like so WEAK. Small stuffs and they are crying and like to spread out to the whole world and keep on EMO. Well, no one owes you anything and please don't show me your crying baby face and black face. I don't really care much. Cry baby... (Awwww, I am bad Guy again.well, when I really cried, who the fuck care? People can even Laugh out loud and joking and fooling around. I am not mentioning anyone, just don't put yourself in the seat while no one mention you.)


Gossip is kind of like human nature. People likes to know more and say more about certain issue which i call it GOSSIP. (well, the nice word is like Discussing certain issue? Meeting? whatever)


Rumor and gossip spread around us. People are so face that they act like so nice to certain people and turn their face off after they turn back. I am not a good guy, i admit it. But at the same time I hate Fake people with Fake personalities. 


When you Criticize on someone, do you think before you say so? Do we really have the qualifications to criticize people while we are doing the same thing? or we can not do certain thing?  (A stupid laugh at a fool..sounds funny huh?)


I don't like people which likes to flirt around like a slut, but I Hate dishonest people with their mask which can not even cover their big face. Try to hide all your Original personalities if you decided to wear a mask to face other people.




I am a person that hates to be alone? I am afraid of being just one person.
In the same time, I am one who can still survive without so call Friends? 
Yes of course I felt lonely and boring. But taking meal alone and stay in a room alone is not a bad thing also isn't it?


Recently I don't really mix with people. I rather stay alone in room for anime. 
and planning the day for my birthday, I had decided not to stay in hostel.
I want to Movie,Karaokae,secret recipe,Ice cream alone! ^w^
Trying to act tough and I don't want to meet with anyone.
I was just wondering can I even LOCK out my facebook post that no one can post anything for me huh? 


Want to know my true feeling? 
I wish to celebrate it with all my friends(which I think they are my friends)?
I wish to make it a memorable birthday since its 21st?
I wish to get some surprises from people?
I wish to receive present?
Well, just stop dreaming. Not all people even Care about it, 
who the fuck are you? You are just nothing but Arrogant, childish,like to show off, blasting and craps a lot, emo, greedy, annoying.........................................
People are just fake that they pretend to be tough to be independence just to defend themselves.
As me, all the times I am so stubborn that I knew what will happen if i did something but I just keep going with my stubbornish. Well, I just can not change my stupid attitude, and that is why I am friendless.


I think its time to stop typing already, I am complaining to much. ^ ^
Cheers people. have a great day~

Nasty life..

几乎每个人写部落格的开头都是 
啊~好久没有回来了~。 = = 
我也一样，好久没回来了。。
哈哈哈 不想写华语，来个英文？ 



greatz, english sounds more easier for me..don't need so many pinyin... 
Well you know, using ipad with pinyin is a hard job...
some more the screen is not really big like a keyboard... 
 There are several things to talk about today... 
Hmmm, where should i start first? Okay, here we are.. 
This is a new semester for me,and my last semester in han chiang i hope..

Recently i am just doing some plan for a few problems.. 
Where should i continue my degree courses and what should i study.. 
Can i really manage to do it? 
Where am i going to stay after my diploma? 
Transportation? 
Arghh..


i dunoooo This semester i am going to make another event for my final year project again.. 
An international day..hmmm...
I wonder what can i do huh, i don't really want to be so busy body in keep helping them 
since Jenny keep mantion they are so so so so so professional.. 
 This semester i had change my job again and again.. 
the first stupid job is a waiter in KXPITAN... 
ust that the boss cheat me on my salary, i am not happy with it.. 
So, byeeee... 


Next is MXXT FRXSH in Gurney.. 
This is a job which makes me feel depressed and stressed while working with those people so call colleagues.. 
What had happened? 
 I juat don't really want to mention it again... 
 Lifes become more and more tough.. 
I am left by some of the people which i thought we are friends.. 


Frankly, everyone got their defect part but it is just whether you as a friends can accept it or not.. In the end, they chose to fight with it.. 
Greatz, i am lazy to argue with them... 
Just leave it and i am okie with being alone... 

New friends? With their naive thinking and childish act, I can't really accept them..
o, i don't think these people will be a long term friends...
maybe just a period of time and i shall say bye bye to them ... 

Few days ago, i have a talk with a firends, which is an uncle..
haha He knew my problem, and he told me a lots of new things... 
I learnt something from him.. 
And after this talk, i just realize my problem all the time.. 

i hate to be alone, but just remember one thing, i won't biw down myself and entertain you like a clown.. 
I am also human, and i am really kind of stingy person... 
Kidding joking is okie but don't you ever cross over my limit.. 

Just felt a little bit of helpless these day.. 
Every things become more and more nasty... 
I would just cross my finger and wish for happiness..

I am Just Nothing

I think this holiday is the most Busiest Holiday ever for me.*chuckles


I went to Kuala Lumpur twice and I met a lots of new friends. 

The second time I went to the Hot Air Balloon Fiesta in Putrajaya.

The First time I went to Maison the Club and have fun with a lots of friends.

This was the greatest time ever in a Club for me. haha..


Honestly, I got thousand words to blast out now but I don't know which one comes first.


I am not really happy with the KL trip, this is the first one. 


I can only use a word to describe the moment. Insidious? or Shallow?


What ever. Just something bad about people.


Since I don't really share my Happiness here, so what I shared here probably is bad news and bad things. (which I think It is .)


Actually, Life can not be Easy. In my life, it is full of disputes, rumors, gossip, quarrel and so on so fort. 


I admit that, I do care what people looks on me. I knew that I am not good enough (maybe I am not even GOOD? who Knows..* sigh)


Sometimes...*sigh.... Its okay, I don't want to explain again, for my last explanation, people thought it was just I am defending myself and I can not accept comment. So, no more explanation.


Hey people, I am not who ever. Even I am, I am not going to be just perfect. I am not mentioning someone or something. But after the KL trip, I just found out that, I always give bad Impression to people, no matter who no matter when and no matter what.


Well, I am just bad guy. I am not good looking, I am so conceited that I think I am so cool, bad temper, i am emotional, I am so stupid that I make my friends hates me... bla bla bla* (and hundreds more, i mean , my bad~)


I am not angry and I am not blaming anyone.(because if i want to do so, almost everyone is blamed by me XD)


So, do I need to act? Act like someone perfect so that people likes me? 


I just don't get it. People LOVES those who acts a lots. Again, I am not mentioning anyone but if u think that I am talking about you, that is your problem, Mr/Ms Actor/Actress. 


(Am I over again? OMG, not again, I am talking about someone BAD again, I just can not stop myself, that is why people hates me)


I do agree that, try to change my bad things into good one and make people accept you. In fact, I am doing my best to do so. (Stop thinking i am defending, I am not~XD)


I just remember that one of the friends say this


"Psycho people they wont express their feeling and their next move easily."


So, when I am angry I need to pretend like OMG I am so Happy that you scolded me with no reason at all?


or I need to pretend like I am just Kind and Nice that I wont angry about you even you are talking my bad just right behind me or just right in front of me?

I do believes that people have their limit that cause Eruption~ For me, I had changed a lot.


I am no longer the Fierce stupid Cat that throw bad temper to the surrounding person.


In fact, I am a person who scares of bad comment on me. It is like I study well and prepare well and I still Fail in my examinations.


That kind of feeling, can you feel the same thing I felt?


I pretend like I am nothing after i receive bad comments but in fact, I will think again and again what had i done wrongly that I will receive bad comments. In the next time, I will not do the same thing again.

Sounds pretty good huh? But in reality, normally there are NO second chance if you had did something wrong. People will just think that, this guy is Acting a lot, since last time he did so many bad things. Is that right? 


People think I talk too much, I shall just be quiet and lessen my talk
then people think I am so cool and so arrogant that I don't even talk or smile


Don' you think it is so damn weird that I am smiling but nothing?
Psycho~


Then people will say I am not friendly, I am so arrogant that I think they are cheap...and a bunch of weird comment and weird personality is added to me.


When I talk, people comment again, I am too noisy, I am so playful, I am not doing the right thing, I am not serious, I am childish, I am keep showing off my stuffs, I am acting that I am clever......................


Look, there are 7 billion Human beings in the world, I can not make everyone likes me. 


I know that I am bad temper in sometimes,
I know that I am too serious in sometimes,
I know that I am too noisy sometimes,
I know that I Hate to be a loser that I will defend myself until the end and two people relationship broke up,
I know that I Like to act that I know a lot of things,
I know that I am not clever enough,
I know that I am so childish that I am writing all this in my blogger,
I know that I am so useless in sometimes,

I know that I am not a good friend,

I know that I am big liar,

I know that I like to act a lot,

I know that I am girlish,

I know that I am a troublemaker rather than a solver,

I know that I am a negative thinker,

I know that I am irresponsible enough,

I know that I got a lots of bad habits more......

But, 

Am I really treat you guys that bad? 

Am I really childish that I doesn't work hard sometimes?

Am I really just look conceited and so call arrogant?

Am I really throwing bad temper to anyone without any proper reason?

Am I really that noisy?

Am I really that Cool?

Am I really emotional?

Am I really irresponsible when i really did something wrong?

Am I really that bad? 

People, until you read this paragraph 

in your mind there are only few thoughts.

"Sorry, I don't really know you much..we just know each other online and bla bla bla bla bla"

"Since you know that you are so BAD, why don't you change yourselves?"

"Are you trying to defend yourselves again?"

"Stop acting...you are not good enough for this"

"I'm sorry that my comment on you makes you felt so unhappy..I will not give u any bad comments anymore"

"I wish you are okie now"

"Don't think too much, everything will be just fine"

I am not trying to get anyone to come and console or comfort me. I don't need so. 

Just that, I am tired of being like this. I don't dare to show out what I'm really thinking.

I can't really tell out that I am NOT happy, I am Angry, I am Sad, I am happy...

What is the purpose of telling people your feeling that NO ONE is like going to care about you?

I am not talking in rage but this is so true. 

I know what kind of person I am. 

I am trying my best to make things happen right.

I am trying my best to change my bad attitudes.

I am trying my best to make myself polite and nice.

BUT,

Do I ever say that, I am not satisfy with your bad habits?

Any of the friends, did I really blame you if you guys had did something wrong?

Which of the times, I am not there to help you guys when you met problems?

But in other side, who helps me when I face problem? 

Do any of my friends think about this?

I am wondering, Do I really have FRIENDS? 

In the end, I am just a bad guy. 

I am just NOTHING for you....

Forgotten, Left Out?

It has been a long time for me to be appearing here to update my dusted blogger. *chuckles
great, another issue here for me to blog. Since there is no one I can talk to, so I am back to my blogger. ^ ^

I tried putting this to the side for the past few days or so, but I'm tired of feeling forgotten and ignored. 
Like, I'm tired of always making the initiative to hangout, make arrangements and decisions for everyone. 
I would like for ONCE for people to invite me out, I'm seriously getting sick of helping people, looking out for people, inviting people, contacting people but then I get no contact, no invite, no nothing sometimes. 
Okay, you see, I know everyone is going to say I'm needy but its not entirely the case. 
The problem I have is that almost all my friends say 
"You're an awesome friend"
"Thanks Mao, you're the best, I owe you one",
"You're a true friend"
"I wish more friends were like you"
"You're the bomb" and I tend to get a lot of praise from my friends and all. That feels great when I'm told I'm loved and appreciated and told that I'm a great person and I take it all in and keep myself grounded. 
My friends will talk to me about anything when they're in the dumps, I'll lift their spirits, take them out, let them ramble to me, hook them up, I'll be just an overall good person, what a friend is supposed to be.

Of course, I don't expect my friends to contact me every second of the second or even day of the day, I know everyone has their own life and busy with their "stuff". 
Its annoying however, sometimes HIGHLY annoying when I contact a friend of mine, and I'll never hear back from them unless I contact them AGAIN sometimes. 


What ticks me off even more is how I'll invite a lot of my friends out but they won't invite me to hangout when I ALWAYS invite them. 
Like, they'll tell me like its nothing "Oh yeah, just now someone ask for supper/order and I just followed them. Not my fault at all. " knowing whatever they're doing is something that I highly enjoy and then proceed to tell me "I should have joined". 


Its like, if you want me to join, why didn't you ask me? Am I really located that far that it is so damn hard to let u to inform me that you guys are going to order something or going to some other places?

I don't know what ass backwards world I live in sometimes, I really don't. Like this really pisses me off and then if I bring it up to them, I'll probably come off as needy.  


This just pulls my hair out, seriously. I never get on my friends cases, never bother them about wanting their company, or needing their attention but it'll be nice if my friends would consider me sometimes when hanging out.

I know for a fact I'm easy going and probably the most fun person. Sometimes they'll hangout with their group of friends with someone their annoyed with but won't invite me out.  


I hate inviting myself to hang sometimes, even if they don't mind but I just feel intrusive when I do that. I don't think anyone likes to invite themselves anywhere.


Now, listen, I'm not saying that I need to be invited to every event, hangout or whatever. What I hate is what I just stated and I don't get it. Sometimes no one will call me for the longest time unless I go no contact. "  


Its like I have to seriously go NO CONTACT in order for people to contact me and give-a-damn. Which I don't like to do.  I don't know, I'm just trying to find out what is it that I may be doing wrong, or how I can get people to think of me more often. It's just nuts to me sometimes.

Whatever, just to blast out everything here while others are taking their dinner happily and joyfully and I am now alone sitting in the air conditioning room with my mineral water. 


Cheers and have a great day.